Chinese whispers........
The match kicked off eight minutes late, probably because all the players had to go back to their cars for their sunglasses. This was necessitated when the Aldergrove goalkeeper entered the field - he was brighter than the Active Pass Lighthouse and with more flashing lights. The game began with early pressure from the Classics and Gordie Macklin sent Willie Dixon, recently returned from his loan spell with Watford AFC, haring down the left wing; he cut inside and sent over an early cross which the keeper dived on to snuff out any threat. The Classics took the lead in the fifth minute after Macklin cunningly deceived his defender and headed for the dead ball line. He centred the ball which bounced off a defender and Jody Nelson was on hand to steer the ball home. It was 2-0 after 25 minutes from a right sided Nelson corner which Darly Lawrie attempted to head. The keeper, still resplendent in his bright orange 'Jaffa' outfit, tried to punch the ball away but instead it spun out of his hand and fell to the feet of Jimmy Butler who had the relatively simple task of steering it over the line from close in. The goal of the game came on the half hour mark after some intricate interplay between the team, instrumented by Gene Crowley, after which the ball ended up just outside the box. Brian Griffiths seized the chance to get onto the scoresheet and he finished with an accomplished chip-cum-shot which sailed high ever the lighthouse and into the net. The visitors led 3-0 at the half.

The second half performance followed the same pattern with the Classics controlling play. Poor Jason Clegg was a virtual spectator and was only really tested by Macklin with his over exhuberant back passes. The scoring was over 15 minutes into the second half with two goals from Butler, Butler. The only other moment of madness was when Macklin, taking a rest from midfield duties, released full back/midfielder Dave Moore down the right wing. Moore had a clear run on goal but... he ran into The Great Wall of China! A very inconsiderate Chinese lady was walking three massive dogs across the pitch while play was on. She stopped in front of Moore to pick up her dog muck. She obviously hadn't heard the old Chinese proverb, "Only through the eyes of others can we really see our own faults," or the other one, "Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day." However, play restarted with a free kick to Aldergrove who didn't even give the Classics the ball back! What an injustice as Moore would probably have scored (again). The dressing room discussion centred around both second half goals. Butler had 'done a runner' and disappeared after completing his hat trick - nobody could understand why! However, after much probing from the reporter, no conclusions could be established as to how the goals came about. They were obviously very memorable goals.

Stats
MWG: Jody Nelson
HT: Jimmy Butler
Crap Award: Gordie Macklin