The early play was all Classics and the opposition had barely a look in. Gordie Macklin presented a substantial cheque and the Ballon d’Or Manager of the Decade award to Dave Moore. The monetary contribution was gratefully accepted as the lack of regular income to the club funds had been severely hampered by COVID and the manager was finding it increasingly difficult to scrape enough together for the annual club scouting trips to the UK. It is with regret that the manager has found the need to increase subscriptions for the coming season, irrespective of whether the team plays or not.

Moore began the game wearing a different strip to his teammates, courtesy of Chris Arcari who just happened to have a spare shirt in his bag. There was an immediate break in the game while Moore spent around 10 minutes demonstrating the correct way to fall, how to hold your leg/arm/head or other appendage and he also indicated the correct methodology of rolling around the floor making excrutiating pain sounds while trying not to smile at the same time. All players seemed to appreciate the unscheduled rest and took full advantage of the 'beer break' by quaffing several pints during a natural break which included a free round or two.

Half time approached and the cheerleaders were magnificent. They were dressed as barmaids and they even took time out to serenade us all. They then gave the team three free rounds of shooters - they were awesome. Some players had not had a Girl Guide since they were in the Boy Scouts so it brought back many fond memories. We are not sure where the Murrayville team signed the waitresses from but they were outstanding in more ways than one. Macklin added that is was good to hear that there is a good chance and the possibly of the Classics making a comeback at some stage.

During the half time break, the orange segments were dispensed with as the Murrayville hierarchy had decide to supply the team with several large platters of oysters. Gene Crowley loaded up a side plate with a dozen of them before disappearing into the back with one of the waitresses. Upon his return he was questioned as to the effectiveness of the oysters as an aphrodisiac. When asked if they had worked he responded, “No, only eleven of them did!”

   

The second half was no different to a regular game with Pat O'Krane feeling the wrath of the referee's tongue after he complained about the number of free rounds and his inability to keep up as he has been out through injury for a long time. He thought that the team would buy this excuse!

At the end of the game, nobody could remember whose turn it was for the food – in fact nobody could remember much about anything by this stage. By this time, Alan Massender had deteriorated into maudlin mode and was abounding with compliments about the manager and stated that he had remained with this club for the longest time in his career, after he gave up the team-slut career in his previous footballing existence. He also showed his ignorance by not knowing what a “dicky tummy” was – a disgrace for a Scotsman - but he was quick to point out what Patdeep Rohla was thinking when he read the word “dicky.” He also commented that Rohla is the one black spot on our roster that we’ve all had to endure for so many years.

At the final whistle, and with no volunteers for the food, and with the pizza place closed, the team decided to 'sod the expense' and buy food from the watering hole: Several platters of nachos with spiced beef and all the extras; six different flavours of chicken wings; fish and chips; Mediterranian flatbread platter with feta cheese and olives etc. (for the several Italians on the team); garlic and yam fries; and cajun cream prawns. A good feast was had by all, even though the consommé soup was very weak.

The crap award was given to Gene Crowley at the last on field game against the Dragons at Empire Field in March 2020. As he can't remember where it is (he came up with an unbelivable story of pass the parcel) it was unanimously decided to award the crap award for this match to Gene, and it was richly deserved. The Classics will reconvene at a later date to continue the social aspect of the team and to keep the camararderie active. Thanks for a great turn out which was small in number but big in heart! We'll class this as another win!

Stats
Crap Award: Gene Crowley